Isn't this a question we ask of someone when we meet someone new (in our minds anyway) ? How many of us can REALLY answer that question without hesitation, preamble and most importantly with confidence?
I know I can't right now but in the last few weeks i am taking steps to getting there.
I have been doing alot of reading and thinking of late, many of you have probably been wondering where i have been? am i ok ? So, I thought i better let you know, i am here, plugging away at the usual things, preparing for Christmas and getting some artworks done (which i will post over the next few days).
As i am doing all of this there has been a new plan emerging, i don't know exactly what it is yet or where its going (hence the hibernating in my shell) but that's what i am here working out. Once i know what it is you will hear all about it !
This whole frame of mind for me has stemmed from the end of a really big year for me, a new life, new direction, which is all very predictable, but its also coming from a general feeling of what i have been doing the last few months and years in my business hasn't been cutting it, what i have been doing hasn't been working and i am not prepared to give up more of my precious time and energy into something that just isnt giving me what i want. I am allowing myself the excuse that because X,Y Z... i haven't been able to give it 100% but now as the end of the year is approaching its now time for everyone now including myself to have some direction of what lies ahead.
Yes yes yes (i can see you nodding your heads), we have all heard it all before, we all make New Years Resolutions and plans. What i wanted to highlight and to think about and (what is most profound for me) is that i need to work out what I want for my life and what are the steps i need to take to get there. Just because circumstance or things have happened or i do things a certain way doesn't mean i need to be limited by that, it doesn't define who i am or where i am going. I think if you met me on the street your perception of me would be quite different to the person I am and that would be different to the person i think i am. So why is that... isnt that confusing ? It should pretty much be the same, i think its like that because I can't answer those questions above. They are pretty important questions i SHOULD be able to know the answers to them all and once i do all my other decisions will fall into place as long as they align with my original vision.
Hand in hand with all of this is identifying that my artwork is my business, as is my graphics and illustration. If i am taking time away from my kids and out of my life to do this, the time i do spend needs to be well spent well and with purpose. Obviously with art there is a fine line here as its all about being creative and i enjoy it, but I am not going to be a slave to that creative process or to the art. At the end of the day one of my goals for the present is to be supporting myself and my family through my business which is my design & art. If i don't acknowledge that and have that vision for myself then its not something i will ever be able to achieve. Hoping that it will happen while i do "my thing" is not going to work.
So, as i wind this post up, I am thinking and will be thinking. It might take me a little while to identify my direction but its an important one to take time with. :)
I hope you all are doing well in your preparations for gearing up for the holidays, Christmas is just around the corner!